So… my girlfriend *waves to his girlfriend*, has complained
that so far the blog has been all quotes with little to no personal thoughts.
I guess that is still because the thoughts are nebulous in my
head… writing down seems.. to permanent.. what if I change my mind – almost as
if my mind is convinced that once it sees it writing down it will then be
“fact” and how it has to think rather than thoughts still in progress.
Ok… lets try to in some of these nebulous thoughts down, not
to pin them down like some mad butterfly collector not realising he is
destroying the very thing that he finds beautiful, but to try to pin down where
some of my thoughts are right now.
Ok… thought one, and the predominant one… God has called me
in that direction… I don’t get the exact reasoning, ask HIM, but.. hmm.. other
things don’t “sing” in my soul, Reader? Meh.
Priest? Noooo! Verger? Nope but would not mind redesigning the cloak.. When I think Deacon, something deep within
chimes, it resonates with a yes… What does that mean beyond the feeling of the
call? No idea… well, beyond “oh.. this is gonna cause so much trouble”.
Thought two… Church of England thinking on Deacons is (at
the time of writing), and even trying to be as nice as possible.. as MESS. Deacons who are doing what they do know what
they are doing, but higher up the chain, there is confusion. The church of England seems never to have
been able to nail down the idea. They
are that they are needed, but are not sure how much. Currently their main use is as a stepping
stone to the priesthood with the occasional “permanent deacon” being a mutation
from the process rather than an expectation…. but… the early church had them in
abundance (see various quotes).. and to the stages where the concept of the
church being without deacons was unimaginable and a sign that church was in
trouble – what then does that say about the church in its current state. Is God like a teacher marking the church with
“D -, see me, must try harder”?
Thought three.. there is no real theology of the deacon.. don't get me wrong on that one, John Collins has done some excellent work on the meaning of the deacon words, and some very clever scholars have giving their input into how it all works etc... but the bible is a little hazy on the details... the apostles commissioned the first deacons, but they did not do it in a way of "our commission to you is this... here are the exact details of what you will be doing". Because.. well simply they were already in the church, so no need to explain, unlike in Churches where Paul has to lay down the law "when you speak in tongues..." etc. That was fine then, but 2000 years later it causes "well, what should we be doing,, these people have good and valid ministries that are being blessed, but at the heart of it, if one of the apostles saw one at work would he say "ahhh, a deacon! They were always my favourite ministry", and this contributes to the issues in thought two, its an "inherited" ministry with an "inherited" view about what exactly it is... and to be fair to the theologians, there are some excellent thoughts and feelings about the theology of the diaconate out there, but it seems sometimes like someone took a huge jigsaw of the diaconate, shook it up and someone else lost the picture on the box, someone else mixed it up with another jigsaw you have to rebuild it piece by piece.
Thought four... I am not convinced that thought two and three is not deliberate by God to create variety in the ministry.
Thought five... If we look at the American model, I think I am a definite "church deacon".
Thought six... I think my girlfriend is a "Community deacon".
Thought seven... I suspect God plotted that... and finds it very funny...
ok... that's it for thoughts now.. sleep is calling.. back to quotes tomorrow.
